These next steps might look like distancing oneself or placing parameters on what it will take to make the other feel valued. When these are not fulfilled, we might have to bring understanding and guidelines. Our relationships require basic expectations to be fulfilled-kindness, respect, and safety. It is not healthy to offer love without a safe place to share truth and love with open communication. One of the most beautiful experiences in human life is learning to lean into the tension of those challenges by offering connection, love, and understanding and by accepting influence, creating compromise, and moving forward in a way in which both people win. And we also show our own quirks and flaws and challenges. When we enter relationships with other people, we are entering relationships with another human being-a person full of quirks and flaws and challenges. It is what every meaningful, lasting relationship is made of. Unconditional love means loving someone through hardships, mistakes, and frustrations.
Otherwise, we are offering love with "strings attached." This creates power struggles and control issues. Unconditional love is a weighty term for something that most of us don't really understand, and it simply means "I offer you my love freely without condition.”
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